Kill me people….

Kill me people. 

 

I’m back at blogger now. HAHAHAHA! 

candiesforyou.blogspot.com

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I had a shock of my life. Today is one of my friend’s wedding, yes with this particular doctor whom I’ve worked with before. I’d no idea about their relationship till now and yes I’m still in a state of shock. But really I am happy for her. Cause this doctor is a nice guy to work with. He will treat her well, I hope he does!

The idea of a doctor-nurse relationship has long been “oblivated” (<<- read Harry Potter to know the meaning) I’ve been seeing more of nurse-nurse relationships rather than a doctor-nurse one. Doctor-pharmacist yes, doctor-doctor yes, doctor-nurse hardly anymore!!! OMG WHY LIKE THAT~~~! >= this kind of inter-healthcare relationships are complicating, very.

Okay I’m loving my offdays, I’ve got 3 consecutive days off, so super wonderful.

 

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Ten cases today, well done. 

& oh yes bonus you’re such a lifesaver. 

& Hello to three days off

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I hope you had a good day. Took 8 cases today, I am proud but I did overlook stuff and preceptors were nice to help me along! Really am glad to have nice colleagues around no matter how shitty work can get, seeing others having such good working attitudes spurs me to put in more effort and be a better nurse.

Did I mention that my induction program has ended? It’s byebye to honeymoon and hellos to heaps of OJTs to complete! Urghhhhhhh, OJTs on how to use the VS3 monitoring machine, like a damn redundant. Oh wells, gotta suck it up and hope to complete it ASAP. 3 months down, 3 more months to confirmation!

Been really angsty these few days, getting annoyed by the smallest things and been rebutting and “shooting” people again. The urge to win everyone and everytime is back. What the fatz seriously I need to control really. To tone down and lay low, be humble and just act dumb. Acting dumb is good sometimes, people don’t see you as a threat, people don’t think you’re some “know-it-all” and people don’t give you high expectations, in turn nobody gets disappointments! And the best part is when you act dumb and they think that you’re so good at what you do despite being a freshie! Good appraisal and all comes after. Kkkkkkk I’m saying too much already.

Got to control my molahhhhs too. Operation M in progress!

 

Gotta go sleep now. Goodnights y’all!

 

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Can’t help feeling useless sometimes. I’m a liability no doubt and I’m trying my very best. I kept telling myself that they’re helpful, it’s teamwork and they’re trying to lighten my workload but then again I feel so fucking useless, to the extend that they have to help me so that I could finish my work on time. 

Kept telling myself that I’ve no practice doing junior work during my student days, I’ve always been taking cases. Then again junior work is so simple, what’s wrong with me not being able to cope with such an easy job scope. I really need to buck up, this is no joke. 

Today someone ask me, when can you float. I’m like “float?” Float as in be independent and float around without supervision she said. I told her I was not confident enough yet. Oh was what I get from her. Am I really up to standard, can I really be independent by my own? Sister wanted me to be independent by end of the month, wanted me to take cases on my own and only needs counter-signing for my medications. I need to improve, so that I will not let people down. People who has pin their hopes on me but then again, who has their hopes on me? Great now I’m contradicting myself. 

BE.AN.ASSET.NOT.LIABILITY. 

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My baby is backkkkkk ♥

Awesome-awesome!

And tomorrow is B66′s year-end partehhhhhh~ Wooooooieeeeeeee. Let’s go have some fun people

December. I had lived two decades now.

All grown up, I hope I did. I was never a daddy’s little princess nor a mummy’s little precious. I was independent from young, just plain old normal. I was not particularly cute nor pretty, I was not bright nor hardworking. I am not talented and not skillful. I’m not rich nor am I poor. I was just like any other kid in town. Seeing what I had become now, looking at how far I had gone, I’m glad that whatever happened during these two decades did, making me grow and probably mature.

I was a social butterfly. I’d knew plenty of people. I’d crave for company and social interactions but now I’d rather be alone. I’d lost important people in my life, dead or alive and yes the loses broke me but they too made me into who I am now. I’d led the group, I’d failed exams, I’d skipped school and now I’d got tattoos. I’d been through heartbreaks and made tough decisions for my future.  I’d forced to change myself for the better and I had survived. I may not be the best person you’ve met but I can say I’m a better person now. Lucky for you to meet the twenty year old me and not the thirteen year old me.

It’s a cold world outside the protective arms of your parents. This is no longer games that you can quit and replay after you’d lost, this is the world of the adults. Bitter. People judge, society stereotype, norm rules. People blame and get blamed. Some people are there to give you a helping hand, some people are there to bring you down. Be generous, be nice, be careful. Nobody’s gonna help you once you’re fucked.

Maybe one day I would make it big, just maybe one day I would do something which I really love, maybe one day I would find something which I love and do it. Maybe I would stay where I am now, stagnant (but I’m so not going to let that happen) Maybe, just maybe. And ohhh i don’t want to get started on those regrets. I want things right but then, if you don’t make wrong choices, how would you know what’s right for you. Life’s complicated and for me, the road is long and bleak.

Whatever the case, thank you for the strong heart and strong mind. They’re gotten me far.

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*strikes off another day on my calendar* 

3 more days.

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I’ve completed my first ever marathon and yeap, it’s 21km. I’m proud of myself cause I did not train for this race at all and I’d ran at least 113-14km of the race? HAHAHA the least is 10km! Started at Sentosa and we ran the beach and into USS! Awesome much, made me wanna go there even more! Okay the we ran the expressways and waaaalaaaaaa we’re all finishers!

Thankyou youseeme for accompanying me throughout the run! <3

Right before we start

10km mark!

16km!

ANDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

that’s all!

HAHHA too shagg to take anymore peektures! Wondering how am I supposed to go work tomorrow with my current condition. My feet hurts from the unseasoned shoes, blisters and muscleaches. Lucky no abrasions?! Whatever uh. Just damn sianzxcs. *Puipui*

…

Also today is Day 4 without him, but it’s not so bad cause he managed to get some wifi over there. 4 more days to go!

三

终于有你的消息了 有一种无法形容的感受 超高兴的 还剩多六天 希望这六天能快快过去 八号快来！